Proofreaders: happyBuddha, Kai, Lee, m@o, Marcia
That which has been is what will be,
That which is
done is what will be done,
And there is
nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which it may be said,
“See, this is
new”?
It has already been in ancient times before us.
There is no
remembrance of former things,
Nor will there be any remembrance of things that are to come
By those who will come after.
–Ecclesiastes 1:9-11
Xu Ping thought he would lie in bed wide awake until the sun rose, but he fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.
He did not dream. Like a robot out of energy, he lay
on the bed with hands crossed over his stomach and did not move a muscle during
the night.
When he awoke, he heard the sound of the street cleaning
machine whirring by.
May was coming to an end.
Sunrise came earlier and earlier, and the temperature was
also increasing. The moist spring had slowly disappeared like the sparrows
fluttering among the trees while the young summer sun grew with intensity in
the crisp southeastern wind.
There was always a lot to do on the weekend between the
seasons. The long sleeves needed to be stored while the short sleeves needed to
be brought out. The thick winter blankets needed to be taken apart and washed.
The bamboo sheets and sandals needed to be taken out to the balcony to drive
out the dampness that had collected during winter.
He stared at the old yet unfamiliar crack on the ceiling.
Only after blinking a few times did he remember he had long ago moved
into his dad’s room.
The sunlight shot in between the curtains. Regardless of what
he wanted, a brand new day had begun.
Xu Ping slowly sat up in bed and instinctively reached out to
the bedside table for his glasses. There was nothing there
waiting for him. His brother had broken them yesterday.
Retracting his hand, he sat silent for a while before taking
the clothes from the back of the chair and dressing
himself. The door to his brother’s bedroom was still closed.
He walked into the bathroom, squeezed out some toothpaste,
opened the tap and filled a cup with water. Then he began to
brush his teeth.
In the mirror above the sink was a person with sickly white
skin, a small pointed chin and bright eyes. Perhaps because of
genetics, Xu Ping’s skin was very fair and did not suffer from pimples even
when he pulled all nighters.
His neck was unusually slender for a man, and his jaw line
from the side was elegant beyond description. Although he was not
breathtakingly handsome like his dad or brother, there was a certain graceful
purity that made him seem out of place in this mortal world.
Xu Ping spat out the foam and cupped some water to splash his
face. It still hurt where his brother hit him yesterday. At the
corner of his left eye was a bluish bump. The cut on his lips had not healed
and was a deep purple today.
He gently dabbed his face with a towel and then looked into
the mirror at himself. He froze for a moment before quickly looking
away as though disgusted.
Eyes downcast, he pulled open the bathroom door and stepped
out, bumping straight into a warm body.
For some reason his brother was naked standing outside the
bathroom.
Xu Ping hurriedly took a few steps back.
Neither of them spoke.
Then Xu Ping broke the silence chuckling, “All right, hurry
up and wash up. I'm going to make breakfast.”
Eyes pointed down, he nudged his brother aside and slipped
away.
The breakfast menu today was rice porridge and other
appetizers. A pot of golden yellow porridge stood beside a few small
plates of cucumber, bamboo shoots and wheat gluten balls.
Xu Zheng had a big appetite and normally could eat every last
morsel, but this morning he only stirred his bowl of porridge
with the spoon, seemingly not hungry.
Xu Ping kept his eyes down at his food and finished breakfast
before his brother for once. He stood up and gathered his
dishes. “Take your time. I have something to do.”
He was passing by Xu Zheng when the boy caught his wrist.
Xu Ping pulled his hand free asking, “What?”
“You take me to run in the morning, Gege.”
Xu Ping pursed his lips. “Sorry. I forgot.”
He actually forgot. Somehow he had forgotten the
long-observed routine.
Xu Zheng made to grab him again, but he stepped back and
spoke flatly facing the kitchen, “Could we skip today? I’ve lots to
do.”
With that he started towards the kitchen with his dishes in
hand, but his brother shot forward and hugged him around the
waist.
CRASH. The dishes shattered on the floor.
Both of them froze, shocked.
Xu Ping tore away from his brother’s grip and squatted down
to pick up the broken porcelain, muttering, “Look at what you’ve
done! Now the dishes are broken. Don’t run up to me and hug me like that again.
Go drink your congee. We’re not going running today.”
Xu Zheng didn’t speak.
He knew very well that the younger boy was staring at
him fixedly, but Xu Ping didn’t want to turn around.
He heard his brother sitting back on his seat and
picking up the spoon.
He had to live on even if it was painful. The person
behind him was his brother with whom he was connected by an invisible bond of
blood. With that in mind, he felt the air in the living room thinning and
scurried off to the kitchen with the broken pieces of porcelain.
The morning slipped by along with the tick tock of the swing clock.
Xu Ping locked himself in the room and completed two
mock exams, effortlessly solving the question that had challenged him last
night. The more troubled he was emotionally, the better he could focus, as
though he were channeling all the unspeakable feelings out, as ink, through the
tip of his pen.
His brother did not knock on his door. He breathed a
sigh of relief, but at the same time his chest felt congested as if he had an
asthma attack and could not get enough oxygen no matter how much air he was
breathing through his gaping mouth.
Lunch was eaten in silence.
His brother sat across from Xu Ping in a white T-shirt,
clumsily pushing rice into his mouth. Neither had lessons because it was the
weekend, and so the day seemed to last even longer.
Some noises came in through the open window. One of
the units had purchased a new refrigerator, and its tenants were hollering at
the workers to carefully move the machine upstairs.
Xu Ping was leisurely washing dishes in the kitchen
while his brother was sitting on the couch watching the noontime Animal World.
The topic of today’s show was the reproduction of
lions.
“The lioness goes into heat only once every two years,
and the male lion follows her like a shadow. Each session of intercourse lasts
only a few minutes, but the number of sessions each day can easily exceed
fifty…”
After cleaning his hands, Xu Ping took off the apron
and hung it on the kitchen door.
Eyes pointed down, he straightened his sleeves while saying
to his brother, “I’m going out for a bit.”
Xu Zheng’s head turned around and he asked slowly,
“Where are you going, Gege?”
“A friend’s house to get some study materials.”
Xu Zheng stood up from the couch.
“I’ll go by myself. You don’t need to come.”
Xu Zheng paused and considered for a moment before
letting his head droop. “Oh.”
Xu Ping pursed his lips but still reminded, “You stay
home, all right? I’m taking the keys with me, so don’t open the door if someone
knocks. I’ll deal with whatever it is when I come home.”
Xu Zheng showed his acknowledgement.
The expression on the boy’s face, like that of a dog
abandoned by its owner, gave Xu Ping a pang. He quickly whipped his head
around.
The river bank was lined with lots of weeping willows whose baby green leaves were swaying in the breeze.
The bicycle was broken. When he headed out, he noticed
the chain on the back wheel had fallen off, so he had to walk to get anywhere.
Xu Ping stood on the rocky bank, the breeze sweeping
across the river to rustle his hair and create golden ripples in the green
water.
Behind him was a young mother pushing a stroller along
the path, a couple snuggled together chatting on the bench, and a student from
a nearby university rushing off with a backpack slung across his shoulder.
Xu Ping picked up a flat pebble and flung it. The
stone skimmed the water three times before plopping into the water.
“Young comrade, could you take a photo for us?”
Xu Ping nodded and took the camera.
It was a family of three who had come out on an adventure
on account of the good weather. The young boy had his arms around his mother’s
neck as she carried him in her arms.
“Ready, one, two, three!”
When he reached three, the young couple began smiling
on cue, but the two-year-old started causing a ruckus for some reason.
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?” the mother
cooed.
“Bingtanghulu!” the child screamed.
“Yes, yes, yes. I’ll buy you one in a bit,” the mother
promised.
“No you won’t! You’re always doting on him! He can’t
even take a walk without being carried. He sees something he wants to eat and
starts crying right away. What’s gonna happen if this becomes a habit, huh?!”
“Oh, get outta here! You just don’t wanna spend that
extra money! He’s a baby still! So what if he eats a bingtanghulu? I’ll buy it
if you’re too petty to spend the money for your son!” The woman who was kind
and gentle to her son suddenly turned and began scolding her husband.
“What do you know?! What do you mean I don’t wanna
spend the money?! I just wanna set a good example for him! His mom only knows
to spoil him, and we all know nothing comes out well from over-spoiling your
kid! Do you understand?”
Just as the argument reached its peak, the son
suddenly let out a piercing cry, and the two quickly turned to him and started
to soothe him.
This trivial conversation completely filled Xu Ping
with a sense of loneliness. He passed the camera back and continued slowly
along the bank.
Telling his brother that he needed to retrieve some
materials was an excuse for him to leave the house. It was as though a
whirlpool formed wherever Xu Zheng was. It sucked away all of his emotions and energy,
but the more he fought, the quicker he sunk. Gradually, it felt as if the space
around him and the oxygen he breathed were being taken from him. But to whom in
this world could he tell his pain?
He stood on the road, looking all around him, and found
that he had nowhere to turn.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Fried wheat gluten balls
Bingtanghulu sold on the street
For more information:
Wheat gluten
Bingtanghulu
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
ayszhang: We're past 40% of the story! ^o^ I'm flying home on the 29th, leaving Tokyo for good! Might take a few days to recuperate before translating again, so the next next chapter will be on Sept 3
Twenty-three
Brother - English Translation by ayszhang is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
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