Proofreaders: JS, Kai, Lee, m@o, Marcia
The time that my journey takes is long and the way of it long.
–Rabindranath Tagore, Gitanjali
“I am a wolf from the North, roaming the boundless plains; the cold wind roars and the sand storm blows…”
The music woke Xu Ping making him sit up at his desk.
A few boys in the class had gathered around a desk in
the corner listening to “Wolf” by Chyi Chin on someone’s cassette player.
It was break time between lessons. All the desks were
piled with study material and mock exams. Looking down from the podium, they
looked like fortresses built with paper. The course load in the final year of
senior high was heavy, and many students were taking the opportunity during
break to catch a few snoozes in their own book fortress.
“Xu Ping, the homeroom teacher wants to see you in her
office.”
Xu Ping replied okay as he stood up rubbing his face.
Pushing open the wooden office door, he found Mrs. Li
sitting at the desk in the corner marking the mock exam papers from yesterday.
“You were looking for me, Mrs. Li?”
Li Xiuyun pushed her glasses higher on
her nose and said without stopping her pen, “Yes, you.”
She flipped through the pages counting the red minuses
on each one and with her red pen wrote “76” on the first page and two lines under
the numerals.
After she put the pen down, she looked through the
stack of already graded papers to find Xu Ping’s. She laid it on the desk and
stabbed at it with her finger.
“What’s wrong with you? How did you make such an
elementary mistake?!”
Xu Ping picked the exam up and looked at the question
circled in red.
“You solved the most difficult questions at the end,
so how did you get the simple fill-in-the-blanks wrong?!”
Xu Ping put the paper back down and chuckled, “It was
a careless mistake.”
“Careless!” Mrs. Li stabbed the paper again. “Careless
won’t help you in the entrance exam! Do you know how many students in this
province are trying to squeeze past the line? A one point deduction means you
fall fifty, one hundred spots down the scale! You’re a smart young man, Xu
Ping. Don’t let your future go to waste because of a bad habit like this!”
Xu Ping nodded and agreed profusely.
Li Xiuyun removed her glasses and hung them around her
neck. “Let’s leave the exam for now. It’s Friday already. Almost everybody has
turned in their application form, but I haven’t seen yours.”
Xu Ping did not respond.
“You can talk to me if you have any troubles. I know
your family background is special, but the application is a very serious
matter, and you must treat it with utmost care. I had a talk with your dad on
the phone the other day. With your scores, you can go to a very good school,
maybe even Peking or Tsinghua. But I get the feeling that you have no such
ambitions. Other kids are doing everything in their power to get into
university while you are here hesitating when you already have one foot in the
door.”
Xu Ping rubbed his nose.
“Your dad told me about your situation, said you’ve
been taking care of your brother since you were young. I was very touched by
it. I’m fifty this year and have been teaching all my life. I’ve seen all types
of students, and I have children of my own. I say this not as your teacher but
as your elder, as someone with more life experience. Your dad spent all these
years raising you not to become a good-for-nothing who only knows to care for
your brother! Sure, you’re not wrong to do so, but if you give up your own
precious future for your brother, then you are the biggest fool in the world!”
Xu Ping’s hands tightened for a moment around the side seams of his pants.
She pulled open the drawer and took out a stack of
application cards. “I’m not supposed to show you this, but take a look at what
Yang Qing wrote. His mock scores are lower than yours, but he was brave enough
to put Peking as his first choice. What about you? Don’t you have any ambition
in you?”
Xu Ping pursed his lips.
“I’m not asking you to try for Peking, but Xu Ping, as
your homeroom teacher, I will not allow you to take your future lightly.” She
slammed the drawer shut. “I want the application by Monday. Think about my
words this weekend.”
It was a little late by the time Xu Ping ended school. Lessons ended late almost every day in the third and last year of senior high school. Both the students and the teachers were stressed and wanted more hours in a day.
Throwing his deadweight backpack into the front
basket, Xu Ping hopped on his bicycle and rushed off. By the time he arrived at
the gates of the City’s School for Special Education, the sky was pitch black.
Only a handful of windows still had light shining
through. Xu Ping climbed the stairs two or three steps at a time to find his
brother, back straight and knees together, sitting alone in the empty
classroom.
“Xiao-Zheng.”
Like a robot that was suddenly activated, his
brother’s head slowly turned around.
Xu Ping flashed a smile. “I’m here to pick you up.”
Xu Ping took his brother by the hand and brought him
to say goodbye to the teacher, Mrs. Cao, who was tidying up her materials in
the office.
“Has your dad come back yet?”
“Not yet.”
Mrs. Cao pointed to the bench in front of her. “Not so
fast. I have something to talk to you about.”
Xu Ping sat his brother down before joining him.
“How is it at home these days?”
“Fine. It’s just that I’m about to take the university
entrance exam, and there’s a lot to do. My dad is still out of town filming and
won’t be back for a few more days.”
Mrs. Cao nodded.
“Did my brother do something today?” Xu Ping probed.
“No.” Mrs. Cao smiled. “Xu Zheng has always been very
well-behaved in school. He doesn’t like interaction, but he doesn’t
cause any trouble for us.”
Xu Ping glanced at his brother, feeling slightly more
at ease.
“Well, I think this is a matter I should discuss with
your dad, but after some thought, I decided you should know, too.”
Xu Ping leaned in a little. “Yes, Mrs. Cao?”
Hands criss-crossed at the knee, Cao Xue began softly,
“It’s been eight years since Xu Zheng came to our school. Have you considered
what he will do in the future?”
Xu Ping fell silent.
“Xu Zheng is fifteen already. If he were a normal kid,
he’d be planning his future after junior high graduation, whether that’s
heading to senior high and university, or enrolling in a college and finding a
job. The mandatory education in our country is nine years. Our special ed
program doesn’t follow the same guidelines, but it won’t continue to available
forever.”
“Mrs. Cao, is the school budget running low? I can
talk to my dad about it.”
Cao Xue chuckled. “Our budget is never enough, and
there are far more children that need special help than we can take in, but as
of now we can still pull through.” She gazed at Xu Zheng warmly. “I remember Xu
Zheng was only this tall when he first came. You and your dad brought him here.
He was clinging onto your hand when you two left and wouldn’t let go no matter
what. You told him you’d pick him up after school, so he sat by the plants in
front waiting for you. It was raining hard that day. Mr. Zhang and I were
trying to bring him into the classroom, but he bit anyone who tried to touch
him, even made Mr. Zhang’s hand bleed. In the end, there was nothing we could
do, so I got an umbrella and waited outside with him.”
Xu Ping patted his brother’s head.
“Sorry for causing you so much trouble.”
“Well, it wasn’t trouble, really. I was thinking at
the time that this boy was a loyal and devoted soul. A lot of people think that
children with mental disorders don’t understand a thing, but that’s not true.
They have feelings, too. They can feel joy and sorrow. They can sense who is
good to them and who loves them.”
Head lowered, Xu Ping gently rubbed his brother’s
hand.
“That’s why I know Xu Zheng and I have a special
connection. Our school isn’t open to the general public nor is it non-profit.
Our monthly tuition is not low, and many families who truly need help aren’t
able to send their children to our special ed program due to financial reasons.
It’s not that we don’t want to help them, but we can only do so much.”
“Is the tuition increasing next month?”
Cao Xue shook her head.
“Xu Ping, your brother is the oldest kid here. It
shames me to say this, but we special needs educators can’t do a whole lot.
These kids mostly live in their own world, like a house with no doors. We can
only do repairs from the outside, but we have no way of going in and turning on
the lights.”
“No, that’s not true. You and the other teachers have
done a lot, Mrs. Cao.”
Cao Xue smiled.
“I like Xu Zheng very much, but the school can’t
become his parents. We can’t take care of him forever. There comes an end to
every party, Xu Ping, and you need to start considering Xu Zheng’s future for
him.”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"Wolf" by Chyi Chin
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
ayszhang: Early surprise :)
Chyi Chin *u* Man, if only my mom read (incest) BL, she'd love this story!!! She's actually one year older than Xu Ping (if he was real), so she would definitely relate to this story.
Nineteen
Brother - English Translation by ayszhang is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
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