The Hangover - ch 5+6+7

Translator: ayszhang

Proofreaders: Artemis, Gwen, LSL, Luzo & Red

Two naked men in a shower --> ???

NSFW!!!!!!

(You don't want any one else catching you reading this post!!)

05

I clearly felt that Pokerface shuddered when he touched my erection. He looked at me while I giggled back at him.

When I think about it now after I have woken up, I wish I could have just hit my head against the porcelain walls. They say that the tipsy world is the most wonderful. What they mean is that while some sensations are impaired, others are amplified.

For instance, a person who is usually conservative would be more open when they are tipsy, and even give in to their impulses. Self-restrain decreases and courage increases while the feelings and desires stay intact. The only thing missing completely is this thing called shame.

So even though I now think that Pokerface was surely taken back by my shameless behaviour, I thought at that time that it was only reasonable: we were two naked adults with little distance between each other. Also, the body in front of me was very attractive to me, so it was only normal that I had a biological reaction.

However, I had completely overlooked the fact that he was a man and I was also a man. This was in and of itself not normal at all!

But, Pokerface wrapped his hand around the place I signaled for him to touch and narrowed his eyes as he watched me. He looked casual as if it were a natural thing, but for some weird reason, I felt like a frog that had been targeted as prey by a serpent.

Out of nowhere, a strange thought popped in my head: Does he know how to? Or should I say, does he know what this sort of reaction entails?

You must know that Pokerface was a man to me but also a man with many mysteries. What I knew about him was as unclear as looking through a thick veil of fog. It was like how I couldn’t picture him with modern technology such as cell phones. Likewise, I couldn’t imagine him doing something any other adult man would do on a daily basis—masturbating?

It was absolutely astounding that I could actually process that many thoughts in such a disconcerted state. It was almost like my soul escaped my body and floated in midair, watching the two of us, analysing us and commentating?

But it turned out that all my worries were unnecessary?

Pokerface was a man and had the common sense of any other man. I discovered to my surprise that he was superb whether he was doing it himself or to another person?

First, he tightened his grip around my waist before holding my erection and stroking it up and down. I was a bit scared at first because it hurt a little when my foreskin got pushed back. But very soon, the blood vessels inside seemed to have gotten used to his grip and unfurled, an indescribable pleasure spreading from them to the rest of my body.

I hooked my arms around his neck, breathing a little hard. I kept rubbing my lower half on him, yearning to go deeper into his palm, as if I wanted him to know how badly I wanted to be intimate with him.

The hair by his neck brushed softly on my face—it felt very nice. Although I would count the strands of hair draping on his collar whenever I had stood close behind him in the past, my attention would quickly go back to what was ahead of us because a zongzi might just burst out from nowhere. Unlike now, I couldn’t focus on smelling his scent. It wasn’t the dank smell of graves but a light sort of smell—kind of like vanilla.

My breathing hastened and I couldn’t stand very well. Pokerface seemed to have noticed too because he turned and pressed me against the other end of the tub, cushioning my back and pushing my hips up with an arm.

With the wall for support, he put more effort into his stroking. Up, down, up, down—he reached the base of my member several times, making me shudder as if I were electrocuted.

“Ah, don’t.” I tried to stop his hand but it was absolutely impossible. His movements were very powerful, not leaving me any chance to escape. I couldn’t help but feel that I had it coming for myself.

So I did my best to shove back his looming shoulders with my head lowered. I saw that the head of my member was getting flushed with blood and leaking with white juices. At the same time, I discovered that his manhood was the same as mine, already proud and erect. My immediate response was to grab it but he acted before me, using his knee to constrain me so that I didn’t have any room to move. Then he sped up with his hands.

I let out a moan as a needle seemed to pierce through my head and I blacked out.

When blood started flowing to my brain once more, I was leaning on Pokerface’s shoulder, panting as if I had just run a marathon. Cum was still shooting out onto his abs and mine. The shower that we took completely went to waste.

His erect rod was still poking me and half of my weight was still on him, but another series of thoughts were going through in my head.

Wh-what the heck just happened?

It was as if all the fragmented memories were completely reshuffled

I remembered that I had just come out from the private room where the family union was being held. I also remembered the license plate of the cab that had driven me to Full Moon House. I had seen some people after I got there. Four blurry faces surfaced in my head. They looked familiar but also like strangers.

Glass after glass of an orangey-yellow foamy liquid had been pushed in front of me. I had no recollection as to how and how much I had gotten into my stomach. I had probably fallen asleep and woken back up several times. Also, there had been a warm body beside me the whole time, keeping me from falling over my seat.

Is the source of that warmth still here?

I had been sitting in the speeding cab, being knocked around. It was not there when I hit the cold car window, but it was back when I fell to the other side.

I had a delusion at one point that I had been alone at home after getting off the cab and returning home. I had drunk some cold water and puked all over the sofa chair, which was all fine because no one else had seen the embarrassment.

However, the person in front of me started moving once more. He was holding me with his arm. I recalled the force that had dragged me into the house and up to my room. I couldn’t have done that by myself.

Then, my chin was lifted up. A pair of black eyes and furrowed brows was looking at me straight ahead. Oh, it was him all right. He had shown the same expression when I threw up on him and when I tripped in the tub.

I started giggling again. Judging from his expression, he was probably thinking, this guy must be losing his mind. I reached out and hugged him tightly.

The release just now made everything feel so unrealistic. I closed my eyes, thinking that all this was an illusion. I reopened them to find that he was still in my arms. My passion was dripping down his body and the sight was just so satisfying.

I asked myself, what could I do to ensure that this satisfying feeling doesn’t disappear? You must know, he could disappear from right under you even if you were no less than ten inches away from him. This had been the case in the tunnel leading into the palace of doom.

I was really afraid that the next time I reached out I would get nothing but thin air again. This fear enveloped me while his hard member was still flanked against me. It made me truly feel his existence.

My knees buckled in, but I knew it wasn’t from spaghetti legs. He wanted to bend down too but I stopped him. I held onto his muscular thighs and knelt down to the ground. His meaty pillar towered before my eyes.

This is…because of me?

Reaching that realisation, my heart filled with joy—I can’t think of a better way to put it. I didn’t think too much as I faced the muscle that had swollen up because of me, opened my mouth and took it in.

Kylin: No sex? Is it that time of the month?

Wu Xie: Wh-what the hell are you talking about? I... I hurt my hip. And it was all your damn fault!

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06

My teeth had just scraped him when I heard a grunt from above. Then, I was pulled back by the hair.

“Wu Xie.” Pokerface’s voice was full of restraint. I hadn’t heard this tone very often. “No teeth.”

I looked up after pausing in confusion to find him watching me. It hit me that our situation was extremely awkward: I still had his erection in my mouth and I couldn’t go anywhere. Additionally, I realised that he was completely right about it.

My teeth were sunken into his meat. I doubt any man would want to have his private part chewed on like a wiener. It would hurt more than anything in the world! I suspected that my IQ had taken a fall when I fell in the tub.

Yet, I had no idea what to do and just froze in place while my head tried to operate. I couldn’t help but exclaim at times like this that being inexperienced is such a sad thing.

I heard Pokerface sigh. First, he moved my head so that my mouth left him, and then he bent his knees and crouched down in front of me.

I must have caused him a lot of pain just now and this made it hard to look him in the eyes. I had thought that he was going to blame me but while I was still fretting, he took my right hand and held the index and middle fingers.

I gazed at him, puzzled as to what he was trying to do. I watched as he lifted, pulled and stuck my two fingers into his mouth. I did a double take and something went zoom in my spinning head. I felt as though I had a fever. His soft lips were puckered around my fingers, shielding his teeth, and I even touched his squishy tongue.

Instantaneously, a light bulb seemed to have lit up above my head. He kept sucking my fingers for a couple more seconds before his eyes opened fully. He took my fingers out and looked at me as if to say ‘Now, do you get it?’

Afterwards, he stood up and backed up to the edge of the tub, taking a seat. I was strung along in the same direction by the arm, forced to crawl on my knees to where he was sitting.

Suddenly, I felt like backing out when I was faced with his erection again. I thought to myself, that was merely impulse just now; I didn’t evaluate the situation at all. I was definitely going to choke if I tried to fit that sizable thing in my mouth.

However, Pokerface didn’t give me time to have second thoughts. Seeing his member with its head held high, I knew he was most likely at his limit. He reached out for my head, opened his legs and pressed my head straight down towards his groin without hesitation.

The round, smooth tip hit the back of my throat. I couldn’t stop myself from dry coughing but my mouth was stuffed and there was no room for me to breathe. Immediately, several tear drops rolled down my face.

I quickly pushed at his legs, trying to put some distance between us and not be completely submissive. He was well aware of my intentions and instead of releasing his grip on the back of my head, he started to manoeuvre me between his legs at a steady rhythm—in, out, in, out…

Under such a forceful pressure, my body was tense and didn’t listen to me at all. In the beginning, I scraped his meat very hard several times with my teeth. He has amazing pain-tolerance, I thought. It was painful just from thinking about it. But, his hands didn’t stop. There was nothing else I could do so I closed my eyes and did my best to imitate his puckered lips, sealing my lips around his member and making sure they were the only things sliding around it.

Gradually, he got used to it and I relaxed a bit. His grunts had been suppressed so that I could barely hear it, but by now they were leaking out, sounding more like light panting. Hearing it made me feel itchy, restless and aroused.

But I had to remain in a kneeling position and the hard rod kept assaulting my mouth, making my facial muscles extremely sore. I tried to pull away several times to catch my breath but the grip on my head was relentless and didn’t release me.

Every time it pushed me forward, my eyes would flutter open to see the dark area between his legs. I then shut my eyes for good. I felt that the ramming attack was getting stronger and stronger. I didn’t think I was going to last much longer and started making whining sounds with my vocal chords.

Then, there were not one but two hands on my head clutching onto my hair. I felt as though my scalp was going to get uprooted. The strength of the ramming increased to the point it was going to make a hole in my throat. Juices seeped out from his tip—a bit bitter and a bit salty. My brows were so tightly crinkled they could bleed. I squeezed his thighs with my hands, praying it would be over soon.

Finally, the two hands holding my head froze as he let out a nearly inaudible moan. Everything around us stood still—except for his cum. It burst into my mouth like a pizza pocket. Fluids gushed into my mouth and completely stuffed it. However, he didn’t show any signs of letting me go, so I was forced to swallow some.

The moment he released his grip, I pushed and sent myself sprawling on the ground coughing violently. The hand that had left my head was cupped before me and scooped up whatever I hadn’t already swallowed.

The amount that flowed out of my mouth was almost like half a quart of milk. It just kept going…

I wiped my mouth while feeling astonished for actually not choking to death. Only then did I feel a bit sulky, thinking he should be satisfied by now, but when I looked up, I almost had a heart attack.

Wh-what? Why is it still standing proud? It doesn’t look like it’s going to go away. It’s as if nothing happened just now!

I even rubbed my eyes. A lot of foamy water had dripped down my face so it might have been that. However, reality was right in front of me: only the white froth still stuck to its tip proved of its recent release. This dealt an even heavier blow to my esteem.

Any man would know that it takes some buffering time to get another erection after a climax. Even if you were a fucking sex god, you would still need at least fifteen, twenty minutes. This is backed by medical evidence.

So that’s why I took a glimpse at his buddy and then at mine who still wasn’t showing signs of recovering from its release earlier—just who was the abnormal one here?

Maybe he was trying to stop me from making wild assumptions and hurting my self-esteem again, because he suddenly grabbed me by the right arm and hoisted me up from the tub. He then turned me around so that I was facing away from him and pulled me back down.

A string of question marks raced through my head like a stampede at a derby.

What is he trying to do?

But this question was answered almost immediately. My spine seemed to freeze over when my butt touched his rock hard member.

The hand of his that was sticky with cum was also working away on my bottom. After the sudden realisation, I was honestly more than half-way sober; it was more effective than any hangover medication. Thus, knowledge in that area rushed forth in one big wave. As my butt cheeks were spread apart and my hole got wetter and wetter, the alarm bells blaring in my mind became louder and louder as well.

Isn’t this something that should be done between lovers? Okay, I admit my standpoint on these issues is pretty orthodox. Although we jerked each other off just now but that was just giving vent to lust. It’s not exactly the same as sticking yourself into another person, is it?

I had my back to Pokerface therefore I couldn’t see his expression at the time. It was just that, with my cognition back in full throttle, I still didn’t think he was the type to be so loose and careless. He was something that almost equaled abstinence in my mind.

Let’s just say the previous bit was solely on me.

On the other hand, the blunt pain coming from my behind started spreading—he was really going for it!

The pain is not what I need to consider presently, although it is important, but could it be that his actions mean he…

Want me?

Honestly speaking, I don’t remember whether I only thought this in my head or actually said it out loud. I heard a soft chuckle nearby as one of his arms reached around my waist while the other rested on my shoulder.

He was breathing really close to me. Each inhale and exhale kept tickling my neck. I remember that he nibbled lightly on my earlobe before tightening his grip on my shoulder and waist and pressing me down towards him.

“Owwwwwww!”

This was the last thing that I remember saying. It was so ear-splitting that I was grateful I lived in a single house, or else my neighbours would have called the police when they heard me.

Afterwards, darkness swallowed me, kind of like after a fuse blows in the electrical box.

Then, when I came to again, I had somehow been transported to my bed from the bathroom and was sitting on Pokerface with a dumb look on my face.

But ;) I knew you guys wouldn't be satisfied...

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07

“So…” I swallowed my saliva that tasted like minty toothpaste.

I thought, maybe he brushed my teeth, too? But if that was the case, why did I still taste him in my mouth?

“So did we…?”

My voice became quieter near the end as my face shrunk back into the blanket. Pokerface still had his arm behind him like a pillow while watching me steadily. He shook his head in a peculiar angle.

So that means, no? I let out the breath that I had been holding.

I flexed my muscles down there and surely, it did not feel like they had been split into two, although the entrance felt a bit swollen.

It appeared that he was telling the truth. But how was that possible?

“You fainted.” I fainted.

His expression didn’t change much when he said this but I turned to face the nearby window after quietly processing these two words and slapping myself a hundred times in my head. I knew I shouldn’t have chosen to live in a single house. Just looking at this height, even if I jumped, the most I would get is paralysis—it wasn’t enough.

How should I put my feelings? I was not exactly sure whether my urges to jump were from having gone the whole way or not having gone the whole way. Pokerface was, as expected, a gentleman and wouldn’t take advantage of others. So shouldn’t I feel grateful from the bottom of my heart?

Yet, as soon as I recalled everything from the previous night—people often say that memory is like a scrolling LED sign: a long tale can be told in a few seconds—I wished I didn’t have such a brilliant memory. But for some reason, I could still remember all the details even though I had been the one who was roaring drunk, so he must have remembered it too.

Oh right. I think Pokerface once said he has a bad memory and would forget things too far back in the past. So maybe I can…

Then, I was hoisted up by the waist from the awkward spot I was in to another spot that was even more awkward.

My eyes flickered all over the place as I lay on top of him. He had one hand on my waist as he asked flatly, “Something on your mind?”

Erm, why would he ask that?

Warily, I glimpsed at him, thinking that he couldn’t have seen that I was searching for a way to erase his memory, could he?

“You were very drunk yesterday.”

After a pause, I let out an ‘Ah!’ of realisation. He had meant the drinking.

However, my brain went blank at his question and I couldn’t come up with any good reason. After all, I led an eat-and-sleep kind of lifestyle and was far from needing to escape reality with alcohol.

My eyes flickered some more before falling on the edge of my bedside table. There were many pictures, laid out in a fan shape.

Aren’t those the matchmaker pictures that my relatives forced on me yesterday? I wondered. Why are they here?

I lifted my head to discover that Pokerface was looking at them, too. I mauled it over in my head and reached a conclusion: they must’ve fallen out of my pocket when he took my clothes off yesterday.

What should I say about Pokerface? Normally, he would not even give two shits if the sky was falling down but he could be meticulous and find your vulnerability without much effort.

If it were any other occasion, say the pictures had fallen out when I was walking and he asked if anything was on my mind after picking it up for me, I would surely say, ‘Oh you know, it’s just the elders trying to get me married. Same old annoying shit.’

But not even I could convince myself with a weak response like this. I couldn’t just act like we were acquaintances who bumped into each other on the streets. He and I, we were completely naked and snuggled together under a blanket. I still remembered very clearly the question last night that had wound itself around my head like a hunting net and kept repeating itself as my glass got filled and emptied again and again.

I must ask while the going is good.

I moved my gaze back and my senses were coming to attention. Only then did I notice just how cold he was. Could it be that he cooled down because I had hogged the blanket to cover myself?

“The moon cakes you brought yesterday, you said it was…you know…” I stuttered a bit.

I let go of the blanket I had gripped tightly in my hands and clumsily wrapped my arms around him.

“I bought it,” he answered straightforwardly.

I watched him in confusion. “But I thought you said-.”

“The clerk didn’t take the money.”

He sounded so matter-of-fact that I first gaped at him before exclaiming, “Woooow.”

The moment I understood what he had meant, I started to scream profanities in my head.

S-O-B! That damn S-O-B!

I immediately recalled a bet I had made with Fats. The basis was that we garnered a lot of attention from most women—younger ones mostly—who walked past us. Of course, we attracted attention because of the bags and equipment we hauled around, but we also did when we went out for a simple meal. Due to the fact that most of the looks were aimed in my direction, I had thought that the ladies were looking at me. However, Fats was very insistent that they were after Xiaoge, not me, and that it was only because I just so happened to be standing near Xiaoge, so I shouldn’t take credit for someone else’s work.

I refused to believe him, of course, thus I made a bet with him. One time, when we were out buying coach tickets, I walked faster on purpose, leaving Pokerface far behind. He just kept walking with his mind on some other planet and even crashed straight into several ladies along the way. Still, their smiles were plastered to his back, as though his confessions of love were written on it. Consequently, I had to pay for a feast at Louwailou.

Now, this drunk scandal at Full Moon House…

I wished I could have flipped the table last night or at least bit him harder. Although, strictly speaking, he had not lied to me. He had wanted to pay: he bought it. It was just that the clerk didn’t take the money: it was a gift.

“So I suppose the clerk was-.” A young lady or a mature obasan.

Before I could get the rest of the sentence out, he pressed a finger to my lips.

As my eyes followed his finger, I became cross-eyed. In one movement, he pried open my lips and studied them. I couldn’t tell what he was contemplating about. Just as I was about to ask, his fingers crawled up my cheeks like a daddy long leg and pulled. Instantly, the distance between us went from a foot to zero.

I gasped and the next moment his lips were against mine, preventing me from breathing. My upper lip was sealed onto him while he sucked on my bottom lip.

The only thing I felt was bewilderment but only for less than a second. He let go of me for a fraction of a second before leaning in again. This time his tongue wiggled in, too, and I couldn’t even object.

Fuck! Th-this is my first damn kiss!

I screamed on the top of my lungs from the top of a mountain in my mind. I couldn’t believe the first kiss that I had preserved for twenty-five years was taken like this.

He did not ask for my permission—I couldn’t even fathom an accusation like that. Who was he? He was Pokerface, Kylin Zhang! He didn’t even need to get checked for tickets to walk on the path of demon soldiers and enter the gates of hell.

In the end, he had come back, alive and well, heart warm and beating, and he was lying here, embracing me and kissing me.

Was I repelled? Not particularly. Was I delighted? Well, I didn’t have enough brain juice to process that much. I didn’t even know how I should react. This was a man who I thought couldn’t even dial a phone. He had such soft, tender tongue and lips that tasted a bit like vanilla moon cake. It appeared I had a lot to learn from him.

As for who taught him these things? It seemed that that was another thing I needed to selectively forget. I moaned as I hooked my arms around his shoulders. Was I going to let go? No, I didn’t want to. Was I going to let him continue? It seemed I had no other choice. This willful attitude of mine had been getting strong since last night under the influence of alcohol.

If there was a watch beside us, I would really like to know just how long this kiss had been going for. By the time he remembered to release me, I felt as if he had sucked away three-fourth of the oxygen in my brain.

I exhaled with my head tilted to the side, letting him prop my head up with his hand. His hand was still ice cold. I wondered why it hadn’t been melted by my forty-degree fever that had spread up from my groin.

He touched my hair. “Any more questions?”

The short syllables knocked on my eardrums, making echoes. I was still looking at him dumbly. Mint, vanilla, kind of bitter and kind of salty—an indescribable taste mingled together in my mouth. I pressed my ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It seemed my heartbeat was twice as fast as his.

Questions, I did still have, but fewer than before.

He combed through my hair with his long fingers, not getting caught once. It seemed that the shampoo that had caused me so much trouble had been thoroughly washed off by him. Just how did he manage to do it?

As my head was filled with these random thoughts, my gaze fell on the blank triangle where his neck met his collarbone. Immediately, another memory fragment of my stupidity very rudely resurfaced from the bottom of my mind.

I know I’ve asked too many questions but…

“Did I ask you anything stupid yesterday?”

The atmosphere momentarily froze while I waited for the answer. I was not sure whether I wanted to hear ‘Yes’ or ‘No,’ because the more I remember the better and the more he forgets the better.

However, Pokerface turned my shoulders straight and gave me an unrelated reply:

“How many?” He stuck up four fingers in front of me.

I was baffled but soon my memory told me that he had probably done this last night and it was right after I had asked him something stupid. I really said and did too much that I shouldn’t have. Perhaps he was implying a homonym of four?

Since I was screwed either way, I decided to answer.

“Four,” I said with a wavering voice.

“Okay.”

Okay what?

I felt myself getting flipped over like a patty doing a 180 on a barbeque grill. In a blink of an eye, Pokerface whom I had been straddling was now on top of me.

I had no idea how he moved. I stared at him looming above me, thinking to myself: Seeing the fluidity and power in his movement, he could have thrown me off the bed a million times over throughout the night, yet he bore with it.

His hair was hanging from the pull of gravity and draping on my face. He was gazing at me with his pupils that were like two black lakes when a gust of wind blew through, rippling their surface. I could even see his inner eyelid folds now.

“You asked two questions yesterday.”

As he said this, that pale spot on his left shoulder drew near and almost blocked everything else from my vision. Maybe I was seeing things or something, but I could make out a few dark green lines rising from his blood vessels to the surface of the skin to form a familiar design.

“And I’ll answer them now.”

Something hard but also familiar poked at me. His tip and my back door were both a wet mess and I had no idea if it was his or mine.

My eyes went wide and before I could react, the design and the scorching rod invaded me simultaneously and conquered my very being in an instant.

Where’s the qilin?

Do you want me?

September 15^th, 2008: full moon day of the eighth lunar month.

I will never forget this day.

I didn’t see Chang’e flying across the sky.

But the next morning, a black qilin came riding on clouds and landed in my second-floor bedroom.

END

Cosplay of the couple <3 

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In case you don't know, Kylin holds the key to the Green Bronze Gate which is said to hold behind it "Terminus." After a perilous journey deep beneath the ground and nearly getting eaten by man-sized birds, Wu Xie watches as a train of demon soldiers march towards the Gates and Kylin marching along with them! Kylin spots Wu Xie and mouthes the word "farewell" before stepping through the Gates to face "Terminus," whatever it may be... Below are fan depictions.

ayszhang says: Of course, I can't let this end on a sour note so... ;)

 And as all Chinese fujoshi/fudanshi knows: 瓶邪王道 (Poker/Xie is the truth)

Pss~ Here's another surprise release for your hearing pleasure.

Click here! 8D

 See you all tomorrow for Love Late's update!~